16 Life Lessons I Learned After a Full Year of Working in the Real World

Over the past year of living in the real world (I refuse to say “adulting” in an un-ironic sense), I’ve tried to do more observing and thinking instead of speaking. Along the way, I jotted down ideas and advice that I either learned the hard way or was taught by someone a lot smarter than me. Here are 16 that really hit home.

– Your boss doesn’t care about effort. Your boss cares about execution. If you think working 60+ hours a week will earn you a raise, you will be sorely disappointed. Your job is to make their life easier, not make your own life harder.

– There is an inverse relationship between how much of your life you document on social media and how much you can truly enjoy life.

– Most social “obligations” aren’t actually obligations. You don’t need to attend happy hour, date people, or go to “networking” events. Time is your most valuable asset—spend it diligently.

– If you’re tempted to make an impulsive purchase, ask yourself three questions: How will you feel about this in 10 minutes? How will you feel about this in 10 weeks? How will you feel about this in 10 years? That last one will save you thousands of dollars.

– Meetings over lunch or coffee are generally less productive than speaking with someone face-to-face. At restaurants, you’re hungry, distracted, required to spend money, and the waiter will inevitably disrupt your conversation. Sit down at a table with two chairs first thing in the morning and say what needs to be said.

– Being able to draw from a wide swath of insights and experiences is more advantageous than specializing in a narrow field. For more on that, read this book.

– You can pretty easily judge the character of someone by watching how they treat people who can’t do any favors for them.

– Alcohol tastes better when you drink it as a reward rather than a coping mechanism.

– Talking about your salary is almost universally a poor decision—that goes for bragging about making a lot or complaining about being broke. Both are nauseating. It’s better to keep people guessing, anyway.

– Learn to be okay with spending time alone (without an internet connection). If that makes you squirm, you have work to do.

– Figure out who the important people are in your scene (hint it’s not as many as you think). Don’t offend them. Make them look good. Don’t demand credit for the work you do. Repeat.

– Always have a side project. It keeps your mind active, your skills sharp, and your opportunities open.

– People are loyal to political parties only to the extent that it’s convenient for them or confirms their beliefs. A hardline conservative says state-funded programs are a communist disease until he needs social services for his daughter’s disability. A “progressive” preaches the value of tolerance until he’s triggered by the slightest off-hand remark or tweet. Important issues are complicated. Treat them accordingly.

– People make time for what (and who) they value. If your health and education are important to you, you’ll find time to exercise and read books. If you care about someone, you’ll find time to see them.

– Before you speak, ask yourself: Do I have something valuable to say, or am I just talking to be heard? When you’re just starting off, it’s usually the latter.

– If you play by the rules long enough, it becomes your game.

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